It was my birthday two days ago, I am officially 28 years old this year, and officially 11 months unemployed. I really don’t know how to thank enough for all the best wishes I received. Thank You all my dearest!
I had a small celebration at home yesterday. Although the day was gloomy due to the MH17 mourning day and the weather was just so freaking bad, one of the heaviest rain ever, mom and dad still go out to buy some party foods and order a homemade cake for me. After nearly 4 years, I finally get the chance to celebrate my birthday here again with my real family. I felt blessed. Really. Like really really blessed.
This birthday celebration got me thinking about being grateful. Actually, its more like how ungrateful I have been all this while. I have been staying home for about 9 months now. Everyday, I help to take care of my mum small grocery shop, I do the chores, I become a strict and fierce aunty to my three nieces and a nephew, educate and disciplining them to do proper housework, taking care of the pets in the house and do the farming things I love sometimes. In my heart I know, I should have feel honor getting this opportunity.. Not everybody can have the same chance I was given. Instead I keep on complaining how I work hard daily without getting any payment when I should really be grateful for having all the time in the world to understand the power of time and power of money. That’s the real freedom anybody could wished for.
Still, every now and then I get all stressed up because of those stuffy feeling for being home for too long. I need to break free. Fly as soon as possible.. But I made a promise that I certainly cannot break for now. A year to stay home. I still have few months to go. But its killing me. Sometimes I get really angry over nothing. Sometimes I snap over very little thing. I become overly sensitive and hot temper. I feel sorry to my parents, I pity the children for having to face my daily bomb. Seriously I hate those side of me but I just cannot help it.
Yet my family is the best. They endured the pain and let me be myself. They learn to accept my way even when I still demand for more. I wish I can educate myself better. I wish I can be grateful every single day. I wish I realized it even sooner. As I blow the birthday cake’s candle, I told the family, I wish I can go to New Zealand next year but the truth is I am actually making this real wish.
” Please Ann, be a better person! “
The road ahead…. it would be rough I know. Change is hard, voluntary change for the better would not be easy. But, I will strive. I am a strong capable woman, I always am, and always will be.
My Dearest Ann,
Sometimes you just have to look at a new point of view.
Sometimes you just have to realized how lucky have you been.
Sometimes you just have to open your heart for any changes coming your way.
Sometimes you just have to stop complaining.
Sometimes you just have to stop being angry.
Sometimes you just have to think.
Sometimes you just have to take sometime off.
Yes.. some time off. Away from just about everything you did daily. It give you a fresh new start, a time to heal, a time to think, a time to start all over again.
I actually had mine since a month ago. I requested Saturday to be my day off and everybody seem to understand. But me, I still don’t understand how did I become so ungrateful. So stupid!!!
I’m hoping to let this be the last reminder for myself for many more years to come. Be grateful for what you have girl!