Lately, aku slalu cakap nak away, nak away, nak away dari online life kan. But then, the next day, I change my mind. Hu hu. Gimik ke? euwwww, that just me. Feeling ni, kadang kita susah nak define. There are times, we really feel that in many ways that is what we should do, that is what we should be treasured, that is how it suppose to happen, that is how it be. Then circumstance change, what we plan turn out to be at fault, absolutely wrong, opposing what we want in some other time. What are we supposed to do? For me, Flexibility is the best answer. I write when I want it so, I took it back when I don’t want it anymore. The cycles goes on and on and continue.

So this morning, to tell you a story, I wake up with terrible headache due to my oversleep for the last two days, haha. At that very moment, I really do feel like dying. I wonder what do I actually want in life? What do I actually do if this is to be my last day on earth? Who do I want to be with? And why is that? Long sigh, I couldn’t find myself a satisfying answer. I took almost one quiet hour, just to think of everything out of nothing. I try, I try hard to think about it but i just couldn’t think of any. Strange huh?

Yes, the fact is always true when we try to please everyone else, we are actually hurting ourself inside. But then again, why is it hurting when we are actually producing happiness to others, and why is it also that everyone else is matters? I once read, happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think. Happiness isn’t something you experience; it’s something you remember. The smile we saw, the thank you we receive, the gratitude, the acknowledgment by others, the satisfaction we feel, is that the true sense of happiness?

For sure I don’t have the answer. In the midst of pain, how could I still be thinking that? My mind is sometimes too strange, I also couldn’t figure it out. That was time I realize, Nothing is Impossible with God.